Growing up I always wanted to be an Olympian. I remember standing in my room with the door closed pretending I was on the podium accepting the gold. Planning out which words of the National Anthem I would sing, which I wouldn’t. If I would have the stone cold look of success on my face, or the let-it-all-out relief of being able to take a break the next day.
- Whenever I watch the Olympics I turn into a wreck. Whoever it is that wins, I will almost guaranteed sob, at least on the inside (depending on who I am with) knowing the amount of work they put into being where they are.
- On one hand, it makes me feel worthless. I will never be there. Being motivated to dedicate my life to sport once every two years (for about a month) isn’t going to be enough. Chances are, I won’t ever be the best in the world at anything.
- When someone uses the phrase “On one hand” it usually implies they have a follow up point preceded with “On the other hand.” I don’t remember my follow up point.
I just paused writing for fifteen minutes to look for my iron pills. I have been feeling weak lately, being anemic and all does that to you. Iron pills do two things for me: increase the iron in my blood, and tear apart my stomach. The latter being sucky.
- Fuck I am so bored.
- So bored in fact, that I picked up cussing more frequently as a hobby, hoping to add some excitement to my life.
- If I am not at work (which I am not at work often enough for the time being [go spend a lot of money at the coffee shop so i can have a consistent job please]) I…well..I don’t do much.
- Sometimes I put quotation marks around things i make up that aren’t quotes, so that if people think it is stupid, they think it was just a stupid quote, rather than something i made up.
- other times I put real quotes around quotations, but don’t attribute an author.
- googling the quote will usually tell you if i made it up or not.
One of the better things I have done lately is telling the truth when I pray to God. Recent prayers include:
- God, I don’t want to pray right now.
- God, can you make an espresso grinder that doesn’t suck?
- God, it is 10:30pm do you know where your Son is? (then God and I had a good laugh)
- God, that earthquake move was low.
A couple of weeks ago I realized this terribly poetic terrible thing about myself. Terrible to the point where I think sharing it on the interwebz is a terrible decision.
- New York isn’t going to happen this year.
- I read up on the difference between a tincture and a bitter for like an hour the other night, still confused.
“I’m not tired anymore. I just want to get away from here.”
“Go back to sleep angel, mom is gonna keep the devil away.”