my life in pencil

I have been sleeping terribly lately.

And by lately I mean the last 22 years, I never have been good at falling asleep. I remember tossing and turning for hours in elementary school, when my bedtime was 9pm. King of the Hill was on at 9pm, damnit.

I suppose one good thing about being a late night tosser, is that (oh shit I just realized that ‘late night tosser’ sounds like something Jude Law would say in regards to sex, not what I meant) I think about a lot of things.

Currently thinking:

Seared scallops wrapped in strips of sauteed leek. I make scallops in an endive cream sauce, but I think leeks would at a little more shaprness. The trick would be cooking the leeks so they are flexible enough to wrap around the scallop, but not so stringy that you need a knife to cut through it + the scallop.

The whole Haiti thing really has me sick. Naturally, it would have anyone sick, but I don’t like the way I feel for different reasons. Prediction: This week I will look at the photo’s, read stories, cry, read more stories, feel terrible, get pissed of at the UN evacuating doctors, look at some more photo’s, and get teary eyed again.

Prediction: 6 weeks from now I will have mostly forgotten and not even consider doing a thing about the whatsgoingons in Haiti, except for when it happens to be on the third page of CNN and I remember for a few minutes. Kinda how I feel about the Iran elections right now.

That isn’t very cool. It is my cynicism that I don’t much like. In 6 weeks Haitians will be in just as much trouble as they are now, I just hope most of the world will care more than I likely will.

Seasonal depression isn’t cool, thats for sure. I don’t mind this winter near as much as last, but I still feel trapped. A large part of it is not having a car, but when it is super cold, leaving the house is the biggest hassle in the world. Seriously, do you know how long it takes to put on long underwear, two pair of wool socks, jeans, layer, layer, layer, sweater, thicker sweater, coat, hat, hood, gloves, second gloves, and a facemask? All while making sure there are no gaps for air to touch my skin? It takes me longer to get dressed than to get where I am going half the time.

Conan O’brien has been eff you sea kay eye en jee hilarious lately. Poor guy.

It is almost 4 now, the last 20 minutes I have been thinking about several things I would really like to write about right now, but some are a bit personal and may portray me as something less than a fucking hero who has everything together. not going to let that happen, so peace.